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2004-07-02 // 1:13 a.m. �God, you are intense. I find that so appealing.� I had C over for dinner last night, and this is what she said while I was cutting a cucumber for our salad. I don�t remember what I was saying in that moment, but it must have struck her. I love how she speaks her mind when she is thinking a compliment. I love how we were able to have a night alone, after literally years of not having a place of my own to invite her to. I love how, five years after our breakup (and three years since we've been sexual in any way) we were able to have an effortless night in each others' company: dinner, music, talking and a visit to the hot tub included. C wasn't my first love, but she was my first LOVE. You know the person I mean. She was the one I first allowed myself to see forever with, the first who got beneath my skin and later wrapped herself in it, remaining long after the relationship ended. I love that she's still in my life, that we were able to create one hell of a friendship out of passion's ashes. The ease that I feel with her is invaluable. Last night was just effortless. The only thing I would change is how early she left to go home. Studies show that it takes 28 days of repetition for something to become habit. That is, in order to discipline oneself to the point of doing something naturally, they must force themself to do it every day for 28 days. I'm going to test this theory. I have just about 28 days left of house-sitting. Yesterday, I returned to exercising. It has been too long and I need to get into shape. Plan is to do the same morning routine every day while I'm here, so that it will hopefully become just a natural part of my day once my stay here is over. I'm crossing my fingers. I'd missed the feeling, to be honest. I love the light, spent sensation that rests in my body after a good workout. And more than any other part of exercising, I love when the shower's luke warm water first startles my skin. That, right there, is spiritual cleansing gone concrete. Well, two days down, 26 to go. I really wanted to sleep that extra hour-and-a-half this morning, but I feel a real committment to this goal. So, I dragged my body like dead weight out of bed, did my 100 crunches, some yoga and my typical workout. It was hot outside - I worked up a real sweat. Good. 26 more days... God, it is just so glorious to live in a space where people aren't breathing down my back!
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